Sotally Tober
March 23, 2009 by Susan Denny
Starkle starkle little twink
who the heck you are I think
I’m not under what you call
the alcofluence of incohol
I’m just a little slort of sheep
I’m not drunk like tinkle peep
I don’t know who is me yet
but the drunker I stand here the longer I get
Just give me one more drink to fill me cup
‘cuz I got all day sober to Sunday up.
Copyright; David Hudgins
Girls Night Out!
February 27, 2009 by Susan Denny
Have you ever gone out and woken the next morning not remembering what happened the night before?
It can have some funny or dire consequences. depending on how you look at it!
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were not far from a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn’t want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman’s husband phones the other husband and said, “These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties.”
“That’s nothing,” said the other. “Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, ‘From all of us at the Fire Station, We’ll never forget you!’”
I wonder how you’d explain that one!
Looking For Jesus!
February 6, 2009 by Susan Denny
Have you ever wondered why one person’s perception of a situation can be totally different from someone else? Here’s a great example:
A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher.
The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, “Are you ready to find Jesus?”
The drunk answers, “Yes, I am.”
So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, “Brother, have you found Jesus?”
The drunk replies “No, I haven’t found Jesus.”
The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer this time. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, “Have you found Jesus, my brother?”
The drunk again answers, “No, I haven’t found Jesus.”
By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the water again – but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up.
The preacher again asks the drunk, “For the love of God, have you found Jesus?”
The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher, “Are you sure this is where he fell in?”
It’s amazing how alcohol can completely change our way of thinking! Hope you enjoyed the joke!